This Yom Kippur in all seriousness but not “all serious” (sort of like “I’m Sorry Not Sorry”), I will be atoning for my thoughts about the city I have grown to love… Cleveland.
Why I will be atoning for Cleveland this Yom Kippur? Simple, Cleveland is happenin’ man, and I’ve spent a majority of my “mature years” sprinting as far away as my wallet would let me.
Attempting to cook in Ghana…I’d much rather be at Townhall.
Now, here I am, attempting to get as close as my wallet will let me to the heart of Cleveland (aka I’m trying to move into the ever booming downtown). Peers overseas and elsewhere in the States think I’m absolutely insane, but we, Cleveland will prove them wrong…not tomorrow, maybe not in a year, but soon… I feel it.
A few shorts months ago I would have never imagined living my roaring 20’s, the prime years of my life, in Northeast Ohio. 
It was what my grandma did in the 1930’s.
Now, this city, home to nearly 400,000, has changed my mind, and G-d, I do apologize for ever doubting this great place.
As Kid Cudi would put it “Cleveland is the Reason” because…
1. You can literally go from swimming in a Great Lake to drinking a Great Lake in 20 minutes.
2. You can live downtown and still afford to eat (at least for now).
3. You can rock out to the best bands at sick concert venues, such as House of Blues, Blossom, The Q, and Jacob’s Pavillion.
4. You can dine diversely every night of the week with Cleveland’s eclectic food scene. Whether you have a taste for schmaltz at Melt, anything bacon at one of Michael Symon’s restaurants (for my naughty Jews), a hot corn-beef sandwich at Slyman’s, or maybe you’re in the mood for upscale bar food, which is available practically all night between East 4th and West 25th streets.
5. You’re sure to become the biggest sports fan imaginable because more than likely Cleveland has a sport that strikes your interest…
The Cleveland Browns (Football), The Cleveland Indians (Baseball), The Cleveland Cavaliers (Basketball), The Lake Erie Monsters (Hockey), AFC Cleveland National Premier Soccer Team (Soccer) and even Burning River Roller Girls (Roller Derby).
6. You can hate on Lebron (and it is totally acceptable), or be proud we once had the first Jewish-Israeli pro-basketball player in Omri Casspi.
7. You can attend a festival every weekend all summer long and even into fall. Cleveland has festivals for everything… a festival dedicated to garlic, to neighborhood eats like “The Taste of Tremont,” and why not beer with Oktoberfest.
8. You can fly to Chicago or New York in like an hour for a ticket that won’t break your wallet and be back in time for work Monday morning. Did I mention that The Ohio State is only 2 hours away? Go Bucks!
9. You can visit and pay tribute to your parents idols and possibly your own at The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum.
10. You can shop til you drop at Legacy, Eton, Crocker Park, Beachwood Place, Southpark, Westfield Great Northern Mall, or the hundreds of other shopping destinations I’m too lazy to type.
11. You can enjoy craft beers and hand-crafted cocktails at anytime on any side of town.
12. You can play, soon enough, in the renovated Flats East Bank and finally understand what your parents were always talking about, when they went out, in the 80’s.
13. You can still be entertained year round because unlike most places, CLEVELAND DOESN’T DIE IN THE WINTER…it gets better.
Go snowboard, skiing, or tubing at Boston Mills Brandywine, ice skating at Wade Oval Park, and finally tour one of the many museums in the afternoon before you end the night with Cleveland’s very own Christmas Ale.
14. You can join in on adult extra curricular activities like Cleveland Plays.
15. You can even go on a Jooze Cruise!
16. You can continue to grow and expand Cleveland with Positively Cleveland.
17. Finally, you can wear this…
Okay, Cleveland has waaaaaayyyyyy more to offer than those 17 things…
Those just came into my head first and play a huge role in while I’ll be “atoning” for Cleveland this Yom Kippur.
All night at HOB concert, all day, dead tired at “The Battle of Lake Erie.” | photo credit Laura Watilo Black elbeestudio.com
I’ll never give a summer up of boating on Lake Erie and or eating Lake Erie perch with my parents.
I won’t let people dis Cleveland anymore.
I’ll continue to drink a beer named with the opposite religions holiday during my holiday (no Hanukkah is not the Jewish Christmas).
I won’t stop dancing on the tabletops of West 6th or trying to be classy on East Fourth.
For the year 5774, I’ll promise to rep Cleveland and continue to fall in love with this Great City on this Great Lake.
So Cleveland, I do apologize. L’Chaim!
P.S. I can’t just have 17, it’s a Jewish thing, so here is 18! CHAI!
18. You can eat a bowl of hummus like you would in Israel… that tastes like it would in Israel.
Hummus in Tel Aviv
