By Amanda Koehn
The bridal shower is an opportunity for the bride and her friends and family to celebrate with gifts, delicious food and drinks, sunny yet elegant decor and good vibes for the big day.
While some aspects of the parties stay constant across time – like florals as decor highlights – activities, food choices and other trends fade in and out. For those planning a bridal shower this spring or summer, Alison Quinn Cox, event consultant at Joe Mineo Creative in Youngstown, and Marsha Newman, sales and catering manager at the Bertram Inn in Aurora, share best practices for making the day charming and memorable.
Planning a wedding shower
A wedding shower typically takes place anywhere from two weeks before the wedding to six months out, Cox says. It serves as a traditional way to celebrate the bride, and other than an engagement party is often the first event where the bridal party and other women close to the bride come together in honor of her.
“By doing these interactive experiences and having everyone get together, it’s going to be, I’d say, the most important event that they are throwing besides the wedding,” she explains.
While historically bridal showers have included primarily women, that’s been much more flexible in recent years, Newman says. Reasons for the shift include more non-heterosexual couples getting married, as well as wanting to involve grooms, significant others and children in the shower. Simply put, it’s not as rigid and gender-specific as it used to be.
The first steps toward planning the shower often include setting a budget, preparing invitations and choosing a venue. Then, you’ll want to envision the scene, decor and planned experiences that make it unique.
The shower can often serve as a way to show of some of the bride’s taste and interests that may not stand out at the wedding.
“Give it more of a personal spin,” Cox says. “Maybe this decor or your theme is something that doesn’t quite fit in a wedding, but fits in a bridal shower theme and tells the guests more about your personality.”
When deciding on a location, planners will also want to consider the bride’s taste. For example, is she more outdoorsy and would she want the party outside? Or is she more traditional, preferring a setting like a country club or banquet hall?
“I believe that the location should also show the bride’s personality, and that’s going to be your best bet,” Cox says.
Wedding shower trends and activities
Today, showers are focusing more on interactive experiences than the games of the past, Cox says. Some examples are perfume or bouquet creation bars.
“We have done make-your-own perfume, where we’ve had experts come in, bring in supplies for all of the ladies to make their own perfume, and even some of the ladies have then said they wore the perfume for the wedding,” she says.
Another activity is called letters of love, where a calligrapher writes letters from guests, perhaps to the groom, bride or mother of the bride. Joe Mineo Creative – which primarily serves Northeast Ohio and Pittsburgh, and travels for events – will mail the letters “and then a few days later you get this beautifully handwritten note that you can keep forever as a keepsake for that bridal shower,” Cox says.
Newman says she also is seeing fewer games involved at showers, and it’s related to guest lists now becoming larger. Instead, she suggests finding ways to involve men and kids, who are becoming more frequent attendees as families become busier and the need to accommodate increases. She notes the Bertram’s Paws Restaurant has a private room that seats 40 called the Cub-House.
“Everybody can show up at noon on a Sunday, have a buffet and then the girls can go in the well-lit room – the Cub-House – and that will be all pretty and decorated. That’s where they can open gifts and have their time,” Newman says. “The guys can remain in Paws where there is a TV, they can watch sports and the bar is there. And we have a game room, too, so if they have kids they need to bring along, the game room is located right off the lobby.”
As the parties get bigger, they become more expensive. As a result, Newman says sometimes a few women close to the bride will share hosting responsibilities to also share the cost.
For smaller showers where a group activity can be better accommodated, Newman shares options like painting or potting succulents, where guests essentially make their own party favors.
As far as themes, garden party, cocktail party and brunch are consistently popular. Cox highlights a garden party as the most versatile “because you are able to transition and shift and utilize what decor you have in the different venues.”
Wedding shower food and drink
For dining, entree salads remain popular, Newman says, adding that the Bertram does its own catering. Often served with bread and a choice of protein, salads keep costs down and accommodate dietary restrictions relatively easily. Another option is a pasta bar, or really any scenario where guests can build their own dish.
Popular lunch or brunch foods like avocado toast, family style dishes, an omelet bar, a mimosa bar or make-your-own pancakes are also a good bet, Cox says.
Wedding shower decor and gifts
For the upcoming seasons, lush florals are popular, where flowers go down the middle of the tables to brighten a room or outside space. Decor details can also include small personalized items such as putting a rose bloom or leaf on individual place settings.
Floral arrangements may also mark the spot where the bride will open gifts, Cox explains. It may be on a pedestal or in front of a fireplace with the mantle dressed in a floral garland, lending the scene to photo opportunities.
Additionally, Newman says balloon arches – which were last popular in the 1980s – are coming back, but in a redesigned, colorful and elaborate way. Flower walls are also being seen as a backdrop for opening gifts.
And as far as color schemes, rose gold is generally trending, she says. In some cases, Newman has also seen more rustic or bohemian themes depicted in decor.
Some brides may also specify not to wrap gifts. The planner may accept gifts at the front door and label each gift with the giver’s name. Then, they’ll take the gifts to a separate room where a calligrapher can address the card from the giver to the recipient, Cox says. Later in the day, typically after any activity, the party goers and bride will enter that room and see the gifts all displayed.
This is a good tip for those who don’t want to spend the precious party time opening gifts, opting to spend the time bonding with the guests instead, Cox says.
Factoring in how long it takes to open gifts can make for a tight time frame, Newman also notes.
“That has always been a problem,” says Newman, who previously owned a Northeast Ohio wedding business for 20 years called the Perfect Choice. “People are busier than they used to be, and showers are bigger than they used to be.”
Viewing the shower – or at least the gift-opening segment – as more of an open house where guests can come and go might be a good bet for ensuring more guests attend, since they won’t feel uncomfortable leaving early or arriving late if need be.
“It’s really nice because you kind of plan it to be an afternoon of an open house with people coming and going. Of course the bride and groom are opening gifts, but it doesn’t have to feel like you have to sit there until the last gift is opened,” Newman says. “It’s kind of speaking to the new issue that everybody has a million things to do on their day off.”
What to avoid when planning a wedding shower
As with planning any party, there are certain missteps to avoid. One such complication to avoid is “having too many cooks in the kitchen,” Cox says. That means that if you are the bride, finding one person you trust to articulate your vision – like the maid of honor or your mother – to be in charge.
“Delegate one person to make the decisions,” she says. “You are welcome to bring in as many people as you would like during the process and give their opinions. But you want to make sure you have that one person, who is usually the host, making the final decision. Or else you are going to start seeing at the event too many elements that may not match up if you have too many opinions that you are taking.”
Newman adds that with attention spans becoming shorter, it may be a good strategy to incorporate fun activities with a low-pressure environment. And if it highlights the bride’s interests and style all while bringing people together, the party is bound to be a hit.